How to Play Tennis With Your Spouse and Not Get Divorced

It is difficult to hit with a spouse (or significant other). After watching friends (with the help of lawyers and judges) divide their community property in half several times, I discovered that there is a way to practice tennis with your spouse and keep your net worth. Agree on two rules, then set up a specific practice routine.

Rule 1 is NEVER give your spouse tennis advice. To make sure this rule is clear, the key word is Never. It will be very difficult not to say “get your racket back sooner” or “brush up on the ball,” etc. However, if you violate this rule, make sure you are not within striking distance (or guys, at least wear a cup). A polite spouse may respond to your helpful tip by saying, "Here's a tip: Don't give me anymore tips."

There is one exception-- if the spouse asks for a tip, e.g., "Why am I hitting so many forehands into the net." Even then think long and hard about your answer. If you are forced to give a tip (or just can’t help yourself), there are two sub-rules:

a—Try to think of something your spouse did right (but needs to do it more often) and compliment it by saying, “It seems like you really hit some good forehands when you got your racket back very early,”

b—Only give out one tip (and only one and I mean one, not two), then follow sub-rule “a” above.

Rule 2 applies to the other spouse. Ask them not to say, “hit the ball closer to me” or “don’t hit with so much spin,” etc. Usually, the better player is trying to hit it nice and such not criticism is not easily swallowed.

There is a practice routine that works well because it prevents the less-skilled spouse from running across the court to hit the ball—which admittedly is usually quite fun to watch, but it restricts conversation on the way home from the courts.

Get a basket of balls. After a 5-15 minute warm up, place your spouse at the baseline on the forehand side of the court. You stand on the at the net on your forehand side so you are hitting cross court to each other—you at the net and your spouse at the baseline. The person on the baseline should practice footwork, watching the ball, and following through as well as trying to hit a low (just a few inches over the net, medium-speed ball, with a controlled stroke. If you can, make the net person take a step or two to the right or left and once in a while hit a lob. The net person should practice stepping forward, contacting the ball in front and watching the ball. Then switch until each person has hit from each of the four positions. The better player usually feeds the balls. Then, one of you should hit controlled serves about (20-30 balls) and the other person practices their return. This should take about an hour.

Sticking to these rules will assure a great workout, a few laughs and the biggest bonus—you will be able to talk to each other after the workout.

© 2016 Phil Aurbach, Las Vegas, NV